There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
There are many times when God had a wet dream and the Bible ended up with some very XXX rated, dirty, nasty stories. It should be a deadly sin if one fails to wash his/her hands after reading the bible. It is that dirty.
More than anything, it shows the contempt and lack of respect that God has for women, ever since Lilith put him in his place at the time of the original creation.
In Genesis, the mother lode of stupidity, we find the story of Jacob who just fleeced his brother Esau, with the help of his mother who loves his smooth skin. His father becomes an accomplice by sending him to get a woman he is closely related to.
(-Genesis 28:5 And Isaac sent away Jacob: and he went to Padanaram unto Laban, son of Bethuel the Syrian, the brother of Rebekah, Jacob’s and Esau’s mother.)
The reader is teased with a titillating foreplay before being allowed to enjoy another level of God’s corrupt fetish with incest.
(-In Genesis 29:17 Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured.18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.19 And Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.21 And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.23 And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.24 And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid for an handmaid.25 And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?26 And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn.27 Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years.28 And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also.29 And Laban gave to Rachel his daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her maid.30 And he went in also unto Rachel, and he loved also Rachel more than Leah, and served with him yet seven other years.31 And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.)
Young Jacob is fully supported and protected by God, and he had taken a job where he was to be paid entirely in poontang. His boss and uncle, Laban, promised his daughter Rachel in exchange for seven years of work. After the seven years, Laban pulled a fast one and swapped in his ugly daughter, Leah, instead.
Again, we are forced to ask a few simple questions. How ugly was Leah? Was God watching the entire production? Why did God condone deception after deception? Did Rebekah lust after Jacob, her own son? How ugly was Leah? Why didn’t Jacob realize fairly early, when he went in unto her, that he had the wrong sister? How ugly was Leah? Why did God decide to step in after the fact, to make matters worse? (“Genesis 29:31 And when the LORD saw that Leah was hated, he opened her womb: but Rachel was barren.) Why did God follow up with the orgy that ensued? How did Jacob survive all that sex? How ugly was Leah?
That’s not all folks, I invite all willing parties to please read the rest of the drama in the greatest story ever sold.