There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
(My mission in life is to find and destroy absurdities, fight ignorance and educate. My advice to Christians has always been the same: please, read the bible. Do not carry it under your armpit, take the time to open and read it. You owe it to yourself to know what you have in your home, next to your children and family.)
-Jeremiah 13:15 Hear ye, and give ear; be not proud: for the LORD hath spoken.16 Give glory to the LORD your God, before he cause darkness, and before your feet stumble upon the dark mountains, and, while ye look for light, he turn it into the shadow of death, and make it gross darkness.17 But if ye will not hear it, my soul shall weep in secret places for your pride; and mine eye shall weep sore, and run down with tears, because the LORD’S flock is carried away captive.18 Say unto the king and to the queen, Humble yourselves, sit down: for your principalities shall come down, even the crown of your glory.19 The cities of the south shall be shut up, and none shall open them: Judah shall be carried away captive all of it, it shall be wholly carried away captive.20 Lift up your eyes, and behold them that come from the north: where is the flock that was given thee, thy beautiful flock?21 What wilt thou say when he shall punish thee? for thou hast taught them to be captains, and as chief over thee: shall not sorrows take thee, as a woman in travail?22 And if thou say in thine heart, Wherefore come these things upon me? For the greatness of thine iniquity are thy skirts discovered, and thy heels made bare.23 Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.24 Therefore will I scatter them as the stubble that passeth away by the wind of the wilderness.25 This is thy lot, the portion of thy measures from me, saith the LORD; because thou hast forgotten me, and trusted in falsehood.26 Therefore will I discover thy skirts upon thy face, that thy shame may appear.
(God threatens rape, then takes credit for it. This passage should get the attention of all female believers. The sexual molestation is obvious here, where the Israelites asked why they were being attacked by the Babylonians: “Skirts discovered” is sexual assault. “Violate” is rape.
Notice that the “iniquity” for which they were being raped was not immorality or depravity; it was simply because “you have forgotten me”.
And don’t miss the racist notation “Can the Ethiopian change his skin”, to which we can answer “Can God correct his racist stupidity?” The bible is just a cover for racism.)