There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
(My mission in life is to find and destroy absurdities, fight ignorance and educate. My advice to Christians has always been the same: please, read the bible. Do not carry it under your armpit, take the time to open and read it. You owe it to yourself to know what you have in your home, next to your children and family.)
-Psalms 137:9 Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
(This is quite possibly the most vile and disgusting verse in the entire bible. God wants you to be happy to dash little babies against the rocks. Call it regrettable collateral damage that might occur during wartime, but God said believers should be happy to kill the innocent babies of those who are keeping you from worshipping him.
We all know that God’s temper is always flaring like a pack of hemorrhoids. The only preparation to soothe the itch is for the savior to slaughter children. The almighty never takes his medications on time, that’s why his holy mood swings are very telling of his bloating, cramps, and emotional outbursts, just like a slut on her period. A serious lack of sleep seemed to have aggravated his problems, since millions of idiots keep him awake with prayers begging for everything from a cure to various diseases to a sexual dip into the waitress who works the night shift at the convenience store.
Once again, if you agree that babies should be bashed against rocks, then by all means, continue to worship your monster. But if you are a loving parent, why, oh why, would you want to even associate with such atrocities.)