Biblical stupidity part 157

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:

You may have noticed that the book of Jasher is mentioned in Joshua 10:13, yet it cannot be found in many biblical translations and versions, like the king James. You ever asked yourself why? At some point in time, the political and religious decision was made that there was enough trash in the book and no need to overfill the religious dumpster with more manure. Thus the partial bibles, reeking of armpit odor, being peddled by clowns who don’t even know about the complete book they claim to love.

Jasher 5:16 And Noah was four hundred and ninety-eight years old, when he took Naamah for a wife.17 And Naamah conceived and bare a son, and he called his name Japheth, saying, God has enlarged me in the earth; and she conceived again and bare a son, and he called his name Shem, saying, God has made me a remnant, to raise up seed in the midst of the earth.18 And Noah was five hundred and two years old when Naamah bare Shem, and the boys grew up and went in the ways of the Lord, in all that Methuselah and Noah their father taught them.
The fun part of this passage from the Book of Jasher is to imagine a 498 year old Noah getting some sugar from his wife. The bible always fails to record how patient these women must have been: “come on honey, are we doing it this year?” And Noah would answer: “don’t rush me baby girl. I ain’t as good as I once was, I got a few years on me now, But there was a time, back in my prime, When I could really lay it down.” Now you know where Toby Keith found the lyrics to his song.

4 years later at 502 years old, still wrinkled like a prune, Noah gave an encore performance. They didn’t have Viagra in those days, just great weed to smoke in the desert. And now, plenty of idiots to believe the greatest story ever sold.

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