Biblical stupidity part 384

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
One of Jesus’ big lies came as the result of his ignorance. Like his father, Jesus failed at the most basic knowledge. Let’s look at the following dual biblical tale.

Matthew 12:40 For as Jonas was three days and three nights in the whale’s belly; so shall the Son of man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth.

We will not argue that Jonah/Jonas spent 3 days in the belly of Moby Dick without being bothered by the fish’s stomach acid. It’s self-explanatory and we don’t have the time nor the crayons to do that.

What we have plenty of time to dwell on is the biblical absurdity that Jesus died on a Friday afternoon, spent 3 days and 3 nights at the motel Tombstone and rose on the following Sunday morning.

Mark 15:42 And now when the even was come, because it was the preparation, that is, the day before the sabbath,43 Joseph of Arimathaea, an honourable counsellor, which also waited for the kingdom of God, came, and went in boldly unto Pilate, and craved the body of Jesus.44 And Pilate marvelled if he were already dead: and calling unto him the centurion, he asked him whether he had been any while dead.45 And when he knew it of the centurion, he gave the body to Joseph.

Mark 16:9 Now when Jesus was risen early the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, out of whom he had cast seven devils.

Matthew 28:1 In the end of the sabbath, as it began to dawn toward the first day of the week, came Mary Magdalene and the other Mary to see the sepulchre.
The Jonas’ story is pure ignorance, while the Jesus’ tale is plain stupid nonsense. Anyone who decides to debate or waste any time on the Jonas’ story will definitely lose a few brain cells. It is that inane. Is it too late to call Jonas, well, “fish bait”?

Simple Math 101 tells us the 3 day-deal is moronic; it’s one and half day at best. From Friday evening to Saturday evening is one day; from Saturday evening to Sunday morning is a few hours. It doesn’t take a brain surgeon or a rocket scientist to figure out that doesn’t add up to 3 days and 3 nights. Where did they get the three day crap from?

Jesus rose from the dead and if he sees his shadow, there will be another 2000 years of guilt.

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