Biblical stupidity part 472

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:

“If your engine is not revving up, you know what you need? A holy ghost enema right up your rear end, because… God won’t tolerate it.” (Suzanne Hartern Hinn)
“ I am a billionaire, because it’s the assignment that the lord gave me.” (Kenneth Copeland)
“Money, money, come to me.” (Leroy Thompson)
“Get rid of your debt by charging a $1000 faith seed to your credit cards.” (Mike Murdock)
Fired up like a 4th of July barbecue grill, the holy spirit inspired pastor could rant incessantly, weep, thrust the bible high in the air, strut the stage this way and that way, whip followers into a devotional frenzy. With an income of 150 million dollars a year, 3 spacious mansions, a personal jet, a luxurious retreat in California, Jimmy Swaggart didn’t waste any time destroying sinners like rivals Jim Bakker and Marvin Gorman. He was the beacon of the faith when the lord spoke to him and said: “Jimmy, my beloved son in whom I am well pleased, there are a few prostitutes who need to share in my mercy. Go help them.” Caught the third time around with a hoe, Jimmy Swaggart declared “the lord told me it’s flat none of your business.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s