Biblical stupidity part 560

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:

The main thing to avoid when you read the bible is “shaking your head”. Why? Because you will end up with a stiffed neck. The following are basic answers found in the bible, all you have to do is choose which answer you like best.
Did Jesus ascend to Paradise the same day of the crucifixion?

Yes. He said to the thief who defended him, Today you will be with me in Paradise Luke 23:43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.

No. He said to Mary Magdelene two days later, I have not yet ascended to the Father John 20:17 Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father: but go to my brethren, and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God.

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