There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
If you think you are going to heaven, if you are responsible to guide and judge everyone else, better check with your God because he is clueless.
Mark 16:17 And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
18 They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.
The king of thorns said that a believer can handle snakes or drink poison and not experience any harm.
Many idiots have died as a result of handling snakes and/or drinking poison. This kind of assertion negates the Bible as a useful guidebook for life.