Biblical stupidity part 635

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:

Different people have different opinions of what is vulgar or obscene. However, the following verses would likely be considered vulgar or obscene, were they in any setting other than the Bible.
The time has now come for a gay God to lay down the law against homosexuality and he needs a good story. God can do that standing on his head. Well hello, sailor!
Genesis 19:4 But before they lay down, the men of the city, even the men of Sodom, compassed the house round, both old and young, all the people from every quarter:5 And they called unto Lot, and said unto him, Where are the men which came in to thee this night? bring them out unto us, that we may know them.6 And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,7 And said, I pray you, brethren, do not so wickedly.8 Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man; let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes: only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.

Let’s enjoy God’s sense of depravity in this biblical passage. To start with, he knows the past, present and future, knows the hearts of men, and still delegates 2 angels to find out what he doesn’t know. God knew that 99.99% of men in Sodom were gay and looking; yet he sends 2 male angels. Does God have any female angels? To continue the fun, we will, just for God’s sake, ignore that angels are genderless imaginary creatures.

Now the gay sinners of Sodom are pretty horny, so they are relentless in their demand that Lot give them the angels so they “may know them”. One can imagine the high-pitched voices of the Sodomites with meticulous dressing habits smacking each other’s behind while waving their hands. God must have been holding on tight to Satan’s cojones, watching all this.

Can anyone tell me why God couldn’t pull a Benny Hinn, wave his hands and “cure” these sinners of their gayness? We will never know because the one man that found grace in God’s sight found a better solution: he offered his virgin daughters to a bunch of gay men, under the watchful eyes of God. Kind of like the lunatics saying that if Catholic priests were allowed to marry, they wouldn’t be doing little boys. (Please insert looney tunes song here.)

Before we move on to the rest of the story, can someone please tell me why Lot’s wife was turned into a salt shaker for peeping at the destruction of the towns, and not Abraham who also looked? Genesis 19:26 But his wife looked back from behind him, and she became a pillar of salt.27 And Abraham gat up early in the morning to the place where he stood before the LORD:28 And he looked toward Sodom and Gomorrah, and toward all the land of the plain, and beheld, and, lo, the smoke of the country went up as the smoke of a furnace.

Is it too late to ask God because he is in church at every service?

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