Biblical stupidity part 641

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:

Different people have different opinions of what is vulgar or obscene. However, the following verses would likely be considered vulgar or obscene, were they in any setting other than the Bible.

If you remember from the last post, Shechem violently and forcefully raped Dinah who happened to have many protective brothers. This is the rest of their story.
Shechem and Hamor, his father, are told by Dinah’s brothers that they may overlook the rape of their eye-candy sister if they consent to be circumcised. Furthermore, they may even entertain marriage between the two tribes. What a deal!

Because Dinah was obviously a good lay, they agree. It wasn’t long before every single male was holding a bag of ice on his crotch. There must have been a lot of dull knives, OOPS and DAMN because they were sore for three days. By the third day, two of Dinah’s brothers, Simeon and Levi, slew all the males. The sons of Jacob came upon the slain, and spoiled the city, because they had defiled their sister. They took everything and everybody’s ass.
Genesis 34:13 And the sons of Jacob answered Shechem and Hamor his father deceitfully, and said, because he had defiled Dinah their sister:14 And they said unto them, We cannot do this thing, to give our sister to one that is uncircumcised; for that were a reproach unto us:15 But in this will we consent unto you: If ye will be as we be, that every male of you be circumcised;16 Then will we give our daughters unto you, and we will take your daughters to us, and we will dwell with you, and we will become one people.17 But if ye will not hearken unto us, to be circumcised; then will we take our daughter, and we will be gone.18 And their words pleased Hamor, and Shechem Hamor’s son.19 And the young man deferred not to do the thing, because he had delight in Jacob’s daughter: and he was more honourable than all the house of his father.20 And Hamor and Shechem his son came unto the gate of their city, and communed with the men of their city, saying,21 These men are peaceable with us; therefore let them dwell in the land, and trade therein; for the land, behold, it is large enough for them; let us take their daughters to us for wives, and let us give them our daughters.22 Only herein will the men consent unto us for to dwell with us, to be one people, if every male among us be circumcised, as they are circumcised.23 Shall not their cattle and their substance and every beast of theirs be ours? only let us consent unto them, and they will dwell with us.24 And unto Hamor and unto Shechem his son hearkened all that went out of the gate of his city; and every male was circumcised, all that went out of the gate of his city.25 And it came to pass on the third day, when they were sore, that two of the sons of Jacob, Simeon and Levi, Dinah’s brethren, took each man his sword, and came upon the city boldly, and slew all the males.26 And they slew Hamor and Shechem his son with the edge of the sword, and took Dinah out of Shechem’s house, and went out.27 The sons of Jacob came upon the slain, and spoiled the city, because they had defiled their sister.28 They took their sheep, and their oxen, and their asses, and that which was in the city, and that which was in the field,29 And all their wealth, and all their little ones, and their wives took they captive, and spoiled even all that was in the house.
Let’s all remember that God is watching all this. He could step in at any time, especially when “all their little ones, and their wives took they captive.” God allowed the violent and forcible rape of Dinah, the resulting deception from her relatives, the forced circumcision of the rapists, their ultimate demise when they couldn’t defend themselves, and the collateral rape of the little children and wives who had nothing to do with what Shechem decided to do. Another tour de force by God who is good all the time.

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