There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Different people have different opinions of what is vulgar or obscene. However, the following verses would likely be considered vulgar or obscene, were they in any setting other than the Bible.
Okay, listen up. Especially if your church has stairs. Say it’s a warm day in July when you are heading for church service and you decide to go commando; that’s free-balling for men, or free-buffing for the ladies. Do not approach God’s altar by going up the steps. If you do, someone might look up under your clothing and see your family jewels; that’s nuts for men, or coochie for the ladies. Do not go up to the altar on the steps, because God is afraid that your private parts may be exposed.
This is something of a very big concern for God. He doesn’t care about diseases, little sick children suffering and dying, hunger, poverty, starvation, wars, poverty, human suffering; God happens to be very concerned about people looking up your robes and seeing your balls or coochie. So cover up and wrap something tight around your privates.
Exodus 20:26 Neither shalt thou go up by steps unto mine altar, that thy nakedness be not discovered thereon.