There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Different people have different opinions of what is vulgar or obscene. However, the following verses would likely be considered vulgar or obscene, were they in any setting other than the Bible.
Now, come closer my friends and listen up. Say you watch a porno, or you ate at a certain restaurant with scantily clad waitresses, or you happen to think of a hot girl, you go to bed and pitch a tent. Say Mother Nature decides to help and, after a while, you wake up wet, but didn’t pee.
You must bathe your whole body with water, and you will be unclean all damn day. Everything must be washed, you can’t wear the same wet underwear and sleep on the same wet bed sheet. If you masturbate, you must wash your hands with water. If you happen to squirt your man juices on a woman next to you, she has to bathe also, and will be unclean all damn day. If she has her period, you need to stay away from her for seven days. If you touch her, during her period, you will be unclean for the day. No V8 for you, my friend.
Leviticus 15:16 And if any man’s seed of copulation go out from him, then he shall wash all his flesh in water, and be unclean until the even.17 And every garment, and every skin, whereon is the seed of copulation, shall be washed with water, and be unclean until the even.18 The woman also with whom man shall lie with seed of copulation, they shall both bathe themselves in water, and be unclean until the even.19 And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even.
This is why God created the Universe for?