There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Different people have different opinions of what is vulgar or obscene. However, the following verses would likely be considered vulgar or obscene, were they in any setting other than the Bible.
Now let’s get to the serious stuff. The Lord says if you have any defect in your nuts, you cannot offer a sacrifice. If you are blind, stupid, injured, maimed, if your nose is flat, if you have anything out of place, Fup leg, Fup arm, bad back, if you are a midget, if you don’t have 20/20 vision, if you have gum disease, festering rash, sores in your mouth, scars or skin diseases, if your nuts are crushed or damaged, you must not put any offering on the altar, it will NOT BE ACCEPTED by the Lord.
Nuts can be damaged by cancer; but the bible is not clear how human nuts can be crushed. The scrotum is super sensitive, so any hitting or twisting is extremely painful. The best baby talk I did, with tears streaming down my face from intense pain, happened when I got hit in the nuts while playing with my grandson. I didn’t get one credit from God.
Leviticus 21:16 And the LORD spake unto Moses, saying,17 Speak unto Aaron, saying, Whosoever he be of thy seed in their generations that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God.18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath a flat nose, or any thing superfluous,19 Or a man that is brokenfooted, or brokenhanded,20 Or crookbackt, or a dwarf, or that hath a blemish in his eye, or be scurvy, or scabbed, or hath his stones broken;21 No man that hath a blemish of the seed of Aaron the priest shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire: he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God.
So if your prayer hasn’t been answered, maybe your left nut is hanging too low, or your clit may be too swollen.