There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Different people have different opinions of what is vulgar or obscene. However, the following verses would likely be considered vulgar or obscene, were they in any setting other than the Bible.
David had many mistresses and wives. Once again, everyone can see the way women are depicted in the bible; just the same as livestock. They are usually thrown in somewhere between the sheep and the asses.
2 Samuel 5:13 And David took him more concubines and wives out of Jerusalem, after he was come from Hebron: and there were yet sons and daughters born to David.