There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Different people have different opinions of what is vulgar or obscene. However, the following verses would likely be considered vulgar or obscene, were they in any setting other than the Bible.
A naked David dances for the Lord and exposes himself to his maids. The Lord likes to watch a choreography of balls and penis, minus the foreskin. His wife, Michal didn’t enjoy seeing her man’s meat bouncing all over the place in public; as a consequence she is made barren for the rest of her life. She is right and didn’t do anything wrong; one can see the respect afforded to women in the bible!
2 Samuel 6:14 And David danced before the LORD with all his might; and David was girded with a linen ephod.15 So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the LORD with shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet.16 And as the ark of the LORD came into the city of David, Michal Saul’s daughter looked through a window, and saw king David leaping and dancing before the LORD; and she despised him in her heart.17 And they brought in the ark of the LORD, and set it in his place, in the midst of the tabernacle that David had pitched for it: and David offered burnt offerings and peace offerings before the LORD.18 And as soon as David had made an end of offering burnt offerings and peace offerings, he blessed the people in the name of the LORD of hosts.19 And he dealt among all the people, even among the whole multitude of Israel, as well to the women as men, to every one a cake of bread, and a good piece of flesh, and a flagon of wine. So all the people departed every one to his house.20 Then David returned to bless his household. And Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, How glorious was the king of Israel to day, who uncovered himself to day in the eyes of the handmaids of his servants, as one of the vain fellows shamelessly uncovereth himself!21 And David said unto Michal, It was before the LORD, which chose me before thy father, and before all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the LORD, over Israel: therefore will I play before the LORD.22 And I will yet be more vile than thus, and will be base in mine own sight: and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honour.23 Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death.