There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Different people have different opinions of what is vulgar or obscene. However, the following verses would likely be considered vulgar or obscene, were they in any setting other than the Bible.
Solomon is allegedly the wisest man to ever lived, and he had 700 wives and 300 mistresses. How the hell did my great-great-great uncle do it? I wouldn’t have time to sleep or get any kind of rest. How many times did he get some? Was he always out of breath? How many times did he say “please honey, give me a minute to recoup.”
1 Kings 11:3 And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart.