There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Different people have different opinions of what is vulgar or obscene. However, the following verses would likely be considered vulgar or obscene, were they in any setting other than the Bible.
A whole pack of cigarettes, and beers.
Song of Solomon 5:4 My beloved put in his hand by the hole of the door, and my bowels were moved for him.