There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Different people have different opinions of what is vulgar or obscene. However, the following verses would likely be considered vulgar or obscene, were they in any setting other than the Bible.
They became prostitutes in Egypt. Even as young girls, they allowed men to fondle their breasts. Their breasts were squeezed there; lovers fondled their virgin nipples there.
Ezekiel 23:3 And they committed whoredoms in Egypt; they committed whoredoms in their youth: there were their breasts pressed, and there they bruised the teats of their virginity.