There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Many sadomasochists find the glorification of women being raped and defiled as precious as the pleasant petrichor or geosmin. If you like to share smut with your family, the bible is for you. If you enjoy adult degrading material for your children, let it be known that the Lord talks sweeter than a $20 whore. If you get a rise from porn, XXX-rated material, golden showers, hard-core pornography, indecent and obscene materials, sexually explicit stories, look no further than the holy bible, a book so good that a few idiots decided to violate the US Constitution by displaying it in the halls of public buildings.
Their mother is a shameless prostitute and became pregnant in a shameful way. She said, ‘I’ll run after other lovers and sell myself to them for food and water, for clothing of wool and linen, and for olive oil and drinks.’
Hosea 2:5 For their mother hath played the harlot: she that conceived them hath done shamefully: for she said, I will go after my lovers, that give me my bread and my water, my wool and my flax, mine oil and my drink.