There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Many sadomasochists find the glorification of women being raped and defiled as precious as the pleasant petrichor or geosmin. If you like to share smut with your family, the bible is for you. If you enjoy adult degrading material for your children, let it be known that the Lord talks sweeter than a $20 whore. If you get a rise from porn, XXX-rated material, golden showers, hard-core pornography, indecent and obscene materials, sexually explicit stories, look no further than the holy bible, a book so good that a few idiots decided to violate the US Constitution by displaying it in the halls of public buildings.
You who force your neighbor to drink wine are as good as dead, you who make others intoxicated by forcing them to drink from the bowl of your furious anger, so you can look at their genitals.
Habakkuk 2:15 Woe unto him that giveth his neighbour drink, that puttest thy bottle to him, and makest him drunken also, that thou mayest look on their nakedness!