There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Many sadomasochists find the glorification of women being raped and defiled as precious as the pleasant petrichor or geosmin. If you like to share smut with your family, the bible is for you. If you enjoy adult degrading material for your children, let it be known that the Lord talks sweeter than a $20 whore. If you get a rise from porn, XXX-rated material, golden showers, hard-core pornography, indecent and obscene materials, sexually explicit stories, look no further than the holy bible, a book so good that a few idiots decided to violate the US Constitution by displaying it in the halls of public buildings.
But you will become drunk with shame, not majesty. Now it is your turn to drink and expose your uncircumcised foreskin! The cup of wine in the LORD’s right hand is coming to you, and disgrace will replace your majestic glory!
Habakkuk 2:16 Thou art filled with shame for glory: drink thou also, and let thy foreskin be uncovered: the cup of the LORD’S right hand shall be turned unto thee, and shameful spewing shall be on thy glory.