There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
If you get a rise from nonsense, look no further than the holy bible, a book so good that a few idiots decided to violate the US Constitution by displaying it in the halls of public buildings. There are stories so stupid that they can only be found in the bible.
Proverbs 20:30 The blueness of a wound cleanseth away evil: so do stripes the inward parts of the belly.
A severe beating can knock all of the evil out of you! So the bible is clear on what to do with the Catholic priests, the Southern Baptists, the Jehovah witnesses and the British pedophiles.