There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Strolling through the Bible, we find that every verse of every chapter of every book exposes the true nature of God as a blooming genocidal moron. Now, let’s expose the bible for what it is: a book where words having to do with “killing” significantly outnumber words having to do with “love”.
The Lord afflicts the Philistines with tumors in their “secret parts” presumably for stealing the ark.
1 Samuel 5:6 But the hand of the LORD was heavy upon them of Ashdod, and he destroyed them, and smote them with emerods, even Ashdod and the coasts thereof.7 And when the men of Ashdod saw that it was so, they said, The ark of the God of Israel shall not abide with us: for his hand is sore upon us, and upon Dagon our god.8 They sent therefore and gathered all the lords of the Philistines unto them, and said, What shall we do with the ark of the God of Israel? And they answered, Let the ark of the God of Israel be carried about unto Gath. And they carried the ark of the God of Israel about thither.9 And it was so, that, after they had carried it about, the hand of the LORD was against the city with a very great destruction: and he smote the men of the city, both small and great, and they had emerods in their secret parts.