There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Strolling through the Bible, we find that every verse of every chapter of every book exposes the true nature of God as a blooming genocidal moron. Now, let’s expose the bible for what it is: a book where words having to do with “killing” significantly outnumber words having to do with “love”.
David did as the Lord commanded him, and smote the Philistines, AGAIN.
2 Samuel 5:25 And David did so, as the LORD had commanded him; and smote the Philistines from Geba until thou come to Gazer.