There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Among them:
Sometimes God feels like a nut, sometimes he doesn’t.
Proverbs 24:17 Rejoice not when thine enemy falleth, and let not thine heart be glad when he stumbleth:
Psalms 58:10 The righteous shall rejoice when he seeth the vengeance: he shall wash his feet in the blood of the wicked.