Salvation for dummies

A few ignorant swindlers are still trying to find a place for religion to fit in the modern way of life. People, who can’t understand the simple concept of a 4-way stop sign, become the geniuses who are quick to quote John 3:16. Let’s help them out.

In a nutshell, God sacrificed himself to himself, to appease himself, to change a rule that he made in the first place, so he won’t have to roast us alive, his beloved creation, for ever and ever on his barbecue pit or in his lake of fire, brimstone and hot coal. We cannot even comprehend that he loves us so much, but if we don’t love him back, he will hasta la vista our butts into his molten lava Jacuzzi for all eternity. Lucky for us, he is good all the time, merciful and prefers dead negroes in his heavenly plantation.

The Christian God is a very needy God… in need of idiots.

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