Biblical stupidity 2473

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. The first is “The GOSPEL of the BIRTH OF MARY”.

CHAP. V.
8 Seeing he durst neither on the one hand dissolve the vow, and disobey the Scripture, which says, Vow and pay,
9 Nor on the other hand introduce a custom, to which the people were strangers, commanded,
10 That at the approaching feast all the principal persons both of Jerusalem and the neighbouring places should meet together, that he might have their advice, how he had best proceed in so difficult a case.
11 When they were accordingly met, they unanimously agreed to seek the Lord, and ask counsel from him on this matter.
12 And when they were all engaged in prayer, the high-priest, according to the usual way, went to consult God.
13 And immediately there was a voice from the ark, and the mercy seat, which all present heard, that it must be inquired or sought out by a prophecy of Isaiah to whom the Virgin should be given and be betrothed;
14 For Isaiah saith, there shall come forth a rod out of the stem of Jesse, and a flower shall spring out of its root,
15 And the Spirit of the Lord shall rest upon him, the Spirit of Wisdom and Understanding, the Spirit of Counsel and Might, the Spirit of Knowledge and Piety, and the Spirit of the fear of the Lord shall fill him.
16 Then, according to this prophecy, he appointed, that all the men of the house and family of David, who were marriageable, and not married, should bring their several rods to the altar,
17 And out of whatsoever person’s rod after it was brought, a flower should bud forth, and on the top of it the Spirit of the Lord should sit in the appearance of a dove, he should be the man to whom the Virgin should be given and be betrothed.

  • Another bullshit story to make a bland story more interesting. Apparently the high priest consulted God who told him to have the single men compare their rods. It is a clear departure from the classic Christian marriage: rape your way in, stone your way out.
  • In this case, a dove, which is the Holy buzzard, will land on the flower of a selected rod. Nothing short of soft porn.

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