Biblical stupidity 2479

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. This is the Protevangelion, by James the Lesser, cousin and brother of Jesus.

Yes, he was both. James the Lesser was almost murdered by Saul of Tarsus, aka apostle Paul, who pushed him down the stairs of the temple. I often referred to Christianity as “Paulianity” because it follows the teachings of Paul, with Jesus as a sideshow.

This Gospel is ascribed to James. The controversies founded upon it chiefly relate to the age of Joseph at the birth of Christ, and to his being a widower with children, before his marriage with the Virgin.

Protevangelium of James, pseudepigraphal (noncanonical and unauthentic) work written about the mid-2nd century AD to enhance the role of Mary, the mother of Jesus, in Christian tradition. The story of Mary’s childhood as given in the Protevangelium has no parallel in the New Testament, and reference to a nine-year stay in the Temple of Jerusalem contradicts Jewish customs. Mary’s birth to aged parents is termed miraculous, and after the birth of Jesus a midwife is said to have confirmed that Mary was still a virgin.

CHAP. I.
1 Joachim, a rich man, 2 offers to the Lord, 3 is opposed by Reuben the high-priest, because he has not begotten issue in Israel, 6 retires into the wilderness and fasts forty days and forty nights.
IN the history of the twelve tribes of Israel we read there was a certain person called Joachim, who being very rich, made double offerings to the Lord God, having made this resolution:
my substance shall be for the benefit of the whole people, and that I may find mercy from the Lord God for the forgiveness of my sins.
2 But at a certain great feast of the Lord, when the children of Israel offered their gifts, and Joachim also offered his, Reuben the high-priest opposed him, saying it is not lawful for thee to offer thy gifts, seeing thou hast not begot any issue in Israel.
3 At this Joachim being concerned very much, went away to consult the registries of the twelve tribes, to see whether he was the only person who had begot no issue.
4 But upon inquiry he found that all the righteous had raised up seed in Israel:
5 Then he called to mind the patriarch Abraham, How that God in the end of his life had given him his son Isaac; upon which he was exceedingly distressed, and would not be seen by his wife:
6 But retired into the wilderness, and fixed his tent there, and fasted forty days and forty nights, saying to himself,
7 I will not go down either to eat or drink, till the Lord my God shall look down upon me, but prayer shall be my meat and drink.

Here we have the story of Joachim, who is very rich, and has no kids. It’s an issue he blamed on his sins. To fix the problem, he vacations in a desert and didn’t eat for 40 days and 40 nights. Yes there are plenty of imbeciles who still believe a man can go without food and water for 40 days and 40 nights. (The story gets better.)

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