Biblical stupidity 2489

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. This is the Protevangelion, by James the Lesser, cousin and brother of Jesus.

CHAP. XI.
3 Annas visits Joseph, perceives the Virgin big with child, 4 informs the high priest that Joseph had privately married her. 8 Joseph and Mary brought to trial on the charge. 17 Joseph drinks the water of the Lord as an ordeal, and receiving no harm, returns home.
THEN came Annas the scribe, and said to Joseph, Wherefore have we not seen you since your return?
2 And Joseph replied, Because I was weary after my journey, and rested the first day.
3 But Annas turning about perceived the Virgin big with child.
4 And went away to the priest, and told him, Joseph in whom you placed so much confidence, is guilty of a notorious crime, in that he hath defiled the Virgin whom he received out of the temple of the Lord, and hath privately married her, not discovering it to the children of Israel.
5 Then said the priest, Hath Joseph done this?
6 Annas replied, If you send any of your servants, you will find that she is with child.
7 And the servants went, and found it as he said.
8 Upon this both she and Joseph were brought to their trial, and the priest said unto her, Mary, what hast thou done?
9 Why hast thou debased thy
soul, and forgot thy God, seeing thou wast brought up in the Holy of Holies, and didst receive thy food from the hands of angels, and heardest their songs?
10 Why hast thou done this?
11 To which with a flood of tears she answered, As the Lord my God liveth, I am innocent in his sight, seeing I know no man.
12 Then the priest said to Joseph, Why hast thou done this?
13 And Joseph answered, As the Lord my God liveth, I have not been concerned with her.
14 But the priest said, Lie not, but declare the truth; thou hast privately married her, and not discovered it to the children of Israel, and humbled thyself under the mighty hand (of God), that thy seed might be blessed.
15 And Joseph was silent.
16 Then said the priest (to Joseph), You must restore to the temple of the Lord the Virgin which you took thence.
17 But he wept bitterly, and the priest added, I will cause you both to drink the water of the Lord, which is for trial, and so your iniquity shall be laid open before you.
18 Then the priest took the water, and made Joseph drink, and sent him to a mountainous place.
19 And he returned perfectly well, and all the people wondered that his guilt was not discovered.
20 So the priest said, Since the Lord hath not made your sins evident, neither do I condemn you.
21 So he sent them away.
22 Then Joseph took Mary, and went to his house, rejoicing and praising the God of Israel.

Let me digress for a minute to point out the gossiping found in religious texts. It’s a real mess when a Billy goat butts into someone’s business. Just ask Joseph.

Many stories preceded the legend of the virgin Mary. We can be sure of one thing: if it’s in the bible, it was stolen from somewhere else.

About two thousand years before the Christian era, Mut-em-ua, the virgin Queen of Egypt, was said to have given birth to the Pharaoh Amenkept (or Amenophis) III, who built the temple of Luxor, on the walls of which were represented:

The Annunciation: the god Taht announcing to the virgin Queen that she is about to become a mother.

The Immaculate Conception: the god Kneph (the holy spirit) mystically impregnating the virgin by holding a cross, the symbol of life, to her mouth.

The Birth of the Man-god.

The Adoration of the newly born infant by gods and men, including three kings (or Magi?), who are offering him gifts. In this sculpture the cross again appears as a symbol.

In another Egyptian temple, one dedicated to Hathor, at Denderah, one of the chambers was called “The Hall of the Child in his Cradle”; and in a painting which was once on the walls of that temple, and is now in Paris, we can see represented the Holy Virgin Mother with her Divine Child in her arms. The temple and the painting are undoubtedly pre-Christian.

Therefore, we find that long before the Christian era, there were already pictured, in pagan places of worship, virgin mothers and their divine children, and that such pictures included scenes of an Annunciation, an Incarnation, and a Birth and Adoration, just as the Gospels written in the second century A.D. describe them, and that these events were in some way connected with the God Taht, who was identified by Gnostics with the Logos.

And, besides these myths about Mut-em-ua and Hathor, many other origins of a virgin birth story can be traced in Egypt.

Another Egyptian god, Ra (the Sun), was said to have been born of a virgin mother, Net (or Neith), and to have had no father.

Horus was said to be the parthenogenetic child of the Virgin Mother, Isis. In the catacombs of Rome, black statues of this Egyptian divine Mother and Infant still survive from the early Christian worship of the Virgin and Child to which they were converted. In these, the Virgin Mary is represented as a black negress, and often with the face veiled in the true Isis fashion. When Christianity absorbed the pagan myths and rites, it also adopted the pagan statues, and renamed them as saints, or even as apostles.

Statues of the goddess Isis with the child Horus in her arms were common in Egypt, and were exported to all neighboring and to many remote countries, where they are still to be found with new names attached to them: Christian (Roman Catholicism) in Europe, Buddhist in Turkestan, Taoist in China and Japan. Figures of the virgin Isis do duty as representations of Mary, of Hariti, of Kuan-Yin, of Kwannon, and of other virgin mothers of gods.

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