Biblical stupidity 2490

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. This is the Protevangelion, by James the Lesser, cousin and brother of Jesus.

CHAP. XII.
1 A decree from Augustus for taxing the Jews. 5 Joseph puts Mary on an ass, to return to Bethlehem, 6 she looks sorrowful, 7 she laughs, 8 Joseph inquires the cause of each, 9 she tells him she sees two persons, one mourning and the other rejoicing, 10 the delivery being near, he takes her from the ass, and places her in a cave.

AND it came to pass, that there went forth a decree from the Emperor Augustus, that all the Jews should be taxed, who were of Bethlehem in Judæa:
2 And Joseph said, I will take care that my children be taxed: but what shall I do with this young woman?
3 To have her taxed as my wife I am ashamed; and if I tax her as my daughter, all Israel knows she is not my daughter.
4 When the time of the Lord’s appointment shall come, let him do as seems good to him.
5 And he saddled the ass, and put her upon it, and Joseph and Simon followed after her, and arrived at Bethlehem within three miles.
6 Then Joseph turning about saw Mary sorrowful, and said within himself, Perhaps she is in pain through that which is within her.
7 But when he turned about again he saw her laughing, and said to her,
8 Mary, how happens it, that I sometimes see sorrow, and sometimes laughter and joy in thy countenance?
9 And Mary replied to him, I see two people with mine eyes,
the one weeping and mourning, the other laughing and rejoicing.
10 And he went again across the way, and Mary said to Joseph, Take me down from the ass, for that which is in me presses to come forth.
11 But Joseph replied, Whither shall I take thee? for the place is desert.
12 Then said Mary again to Joseph, take me down, for that which is within me mightily presses me.
13 And Joseph took her down.
14 And he found there a cave, and let her into it.

Joseph is still agonizing over what to do with a pregnant Mary; so he takes her ass with him to Bethlehem which is 3 miles away.

Here comes another common BS from religion: inventing events that never happened. This tale is also recounted in Luke’s gospel. When needed to boost a story, religion will pull anything out of thin air; and the morons who wrote the bible had tales creating powers gently folded up their butts.

There are major difficulties in accepting this and Luke’s account. There is no evidence of any decree from the Emperor Augustus, that all the Jews should be taxed, who were of Bethlehem in Judæa. Just like the “Israelites” were never in slavery in Egypt; simply because there were no Israelites at the time; and the Western Asians were never enslaved.

The gospel links the birth of Jesus to the reign of Herod the Great, but the census took place in 6 CE, nine years after Herod’s death in 4 BCE. There was no single census of the entire empire under Augustus; no Roman census required people to travel from their own homes to those of distant ancestors; and the census of Judea would not have affected Joseph and his family, living in Galilee.

Another version of the account is offered that the Census of Quirinius was a census of Judea taken by Publius Sulpicius Quirinius, Roman governor of Syria, upon the imposition of direct Roman rule in 6 CE.

In 6 CE the Roman Empire deposed Herod Archelaus, who ruled the largest section of Judea as a Roman client king, and converted his territory into the Roman province of Judea. Publius Sulpicius Quirinius, the newly-appointed Imperial Legate (governor) of the province of Roman Syria, was assigned to carry out a tax census of the new province. According to Josephus, a Jewish historian writing in the late first century CE, Jews reacted negatively to this census. Most were convinced to comply with it by the high priest, but some joined a rebellion led by Judas of Galilee.

There is no time in the known career of Quirinius when he could have served as governor of Syria before 6 CE, that the Romans did not directly tax client kingdoms, and that the hostile reaction of the Jews in 6 CE suggests direct taxation by Rome was new at the time. Most scholars have therefore concluded that Luke’s account is an error. So is the account given by the cousin and brother of Jesus.

Back to the story, we find Mary with labor pains and Joseph takes her to a cave; just like Adam took Eve to the Cave of treasures, after the fall.

James (cousin and brother of Jesus), Matthew and Luke, all three give a different version of the birth of Jesus. Here, according to James, Jesus was born in a cave; Luke said there was no room at the inn, and Jesus was born in a manger; yet Matthew placed the birth in a cozy house with a “star” dangling over the roof. This story almost sounds like the 3 little pigs.

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