Biblical stupidity 2491

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. This is the Protevangelion, by James the Lesser, cousin and brother of Jesus.

CHAP. XIII.
1 Joseph seeks a Hebrew midwife, 2 perceives the fowls stopping in their flight, 3 the working people at their food not moving, 8 the sheep standing still, 9 the shepherd fixed and immoveable, 10 and kids with their mouths touching the water but not drinking.
AND leaving her and his sons in the cave, Joseph went forth to seek a Hebrew midwife in the village of Bethlehem.
2 But as I was going (said Joseph) I looked up into the air, and I saw the clouds astonished, and the fowls of the air stopping in the midst of their flight.
3 And I looked down towards the earth, and saw a table spread, and working people sitting around it, but their hands were upon the table, and they did not move to eat.
4 They who had meat in their mouths did not eat.
5 They who lifted their hands up to their heads did not draw them back:
6 And they who lifted them up to their mouths did not put anything in;
7 But all their faces were fixed upwards.
8 And I beheld the sheep dispersed, and yet the sheep stood still.
9 And the shepherd lifted up his hand to smite them, and his hand continued up.

  1. And I looked unto a river, and saw the kids with their mouths close to the water, and touching it, but they did not drink.

This chapter may well be the reason why this book was banned from the authorized bible. What king of drugs were Joseph and James the Lesser on? Verses 2 to 10 described a bad acid trip. Leave it to the bible to come up with all kinds of outlandish BS, that make no sense whatsoever.

This chapter mirrors how Joshua stopped the sun 3,227 years ago today.

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