Biblical stupidity 2494

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. This is the Protevangelion, by James the Lesser, cousin and brother of Jesus.

CHAP. XVI.
1 Herod enraged, orders the infants in Bethlehem to be slain. 2 Mary puts her infant in an ox manger. 3 Elizabeth flees with her son John to the mountains. 6 A mountain miraculously divides and receives them. 9 Herod incensed at the escape of John, causes Zacharias to be murdered at the altar, 23 the roofs of the temple rent, the body miraculously conveyed, and the blood petrified. 25 Israel mourns for him. 27 Simeon chosen his successor by lot.
THEN Herod perceiving that he was mocked by the wise men, and being very angry, commanded certain men to go and to kill all the children that were in Bethlehem, from two years old and under.
2 But Mary hearing that the children were to be killed, being under much fear, took the child, and wrapped him up in swaddling clothes, and laid him in an ox-manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
3 Elizabeth also, hearing that her son John was about to be searched for, took him and went up unto the mountains, and looked around for a place to hide him;
4 And there was no secret place to be found.
5 Then she groaned within herself, and said, O mountain of the Lord, receive the mother with the child.
6 For Elizabeth could not climb up.
7 And instantly the mountain was divided and received them.
8 And there appeared to them an angel of the Lord, to preserve them.
9 But Herod made search after John, and sent servants to Zacharias, when he was (ministering) at the altar, and said unto him, Where hast thou hid thy son?
10 He replied to them, I am a minister of God, and a servant at the altar; how should I know where my son is?
11 So the servants went back, and told Herod the whole; at which he was incensed, and said, Is not this son of his like to be king in Israel?
12 He sent therefore again his servants to Zacharias, saying, Tell us the truth, where is thy son, for you know that your life is in my hand.
13 So the servants went and told him all this:
14 But Zacharias replied to them, I am a martyr for God, and if he shed my blood, the Lord will receive my soul.
15 Besides know that ye shed innocent blood.
16 However Zacharias was murdered in the entrance of the temple and altar, and about the partition;
17 But the children of Israel knew not when he was killed.
18 Then at the hour of salutation the priests went into the temple, but Zacharias did not according to custom meet them and bless them;
19 Yet they still continued waiting for him to salute them;
20 And when they found he did not in a long time come, one of them ventured into the holy place where the altar was, and he saw blood lying upon the ground congealed;
21 When, behold, a voice from heaven said, Zacharias is murdered, and his blood shall not be wiped away, until the revenger of his blood come.
22 But when he heard this, he was afraid, and went forth and told the priests what he had seen and heard; and they all went in, and saw the fact.
23 Then the roofs of the temple howled, and were rent from the top to the bottom:
24 And they could not find the body, but only blood made hard like stone.
25 And they went awry, and told the people, that Zacharias was murdered, and all the tribes of Israel heard thereof, and mourned for him, and lamented three days.
26 Then the priests took counsel together concerning a person to succeed him.
27 And Simeon and the other priests cast lots, and the lot fell upon Simeon.
28 For he had been assured by the Holy Spirit, that he should not die, till he had seen Christ come in the flesh.

I James wrote this History in Jerusalem: and when the disturbance was I retired into a desert place, until the death of Herod. And the disturbance ceased at Jerusalem. That which remains is, that I glorify God that he hall; given me such wisdom to write unto you who are spiritual, and who love God: to whom (be ascribed) glory and dominion for ever and ever, Amen.

Anyone with a pulse would ask why Herod, who was already dead at the time, would order the murder of all children 2 years old and under? It makes no sense whatsoever.

Everyone is hiding the babies and Elizabeth divides a mountain with a few words. This kind of action can be found only in the bible.

At the end, we are introduced to Simeon, who replaced the murdered Zacharias. Where was God to protect the high priest? So far, the almighty was already knee deep into the affairs of everyone involved, on a daily basis.

Where did Simeon come from? The devout Simeon who is filled with the holy ghost and recognizes the child Yeshua as the Messiah (Luke 2:25-35) is a duplicate of the Holy Brahmin Asita, who recognizes the child Gautama as the Buddha. He, Simeon, speaks of the Messiah as “a light to lighten the Gentiles” (verse 32), using the same metaphor as is used in the gatha with which, later on in the story, the young Gautama is greeted by the rishis: “In the darkness of the world a light has appeared to lighten all who are in ignorance.”

Luke’s account of the child Yeshua confounding all the learned doctors of the temple with his “understanding” is a modified version of stories, told in the apocryphal Gospel of the First Infancy, of the child Yeshua’s precocity in grammar, arithmetic, astronomy, and physics. Those stories are themselves paralleled by legends of the youthful Gautama‘s extensive knowledge, and of how he himself teaches the guru engaged for his education.

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