Biblical stupidity 2499

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The first Gospel of the INFANCY of JESUS CHRIST. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)

1 Joseph and Mary leave Egypt. 3 Go to the haunts of robbers, 4 Who, hearing a mighty noise as of a great army, flee away.
NOW Joseph and Mary, when they heard that the idol was fallen down and destroyed, were seized with fear and trembling, and said, When we were in the land of Israel, Herod, intending to kill Jesus, slew for that purpose all the infants at Bethlehem, and that neighbourhood.
2 And there is no doubt but the Egyptians if they come to hear that this idol is broken and fallen down, will burn us with fire.
3 They went therefore hence to the secret places of robbers, who robbed travellers as they pass by, of their carriages and their clothes, and carried them away bound.
4 These thieves upon their coming heard a great noise, such as the noise of a king with a great army and many horses, and the trumpets sounding at his Overture from his own city, at which they were so affrighted as to leave all their booty behind them, and fly away in haste.
5 Upon this the prisoners arose, and loosed each other’s bonds, and taking each man his bags, they went away, and saw Joseph and Mary coming to wards them, and inquired, Where is that king, the noise of whose approach the robbers heard, and left us, so that we are now come off safe?
6 Joseph answered, He will come after us.

Throughout the bible, God doesn’t miss a chance to murder babies, especially little black ones. Here we have another culling of “infants at Bethlehem, and that neighbourhood”, under the close watch of an almighty God who was hands-on in people’s business. (Let’s remind ourselves that the Catholic church celebrates this massacre of infants.)

By all accounts, it turned out that God was just a sperm donor. It seems that “cabrón” Joseph and surrogate Mary were left to carry the burden of raising the child of an absentee father God. But leave it to God to come up with a daring and fascinating tale of extraction from Egypt.

Right about now, is another good time to see why faith is required to believe “anything” in the bible; faith which is the glorification of voluntary ignorance. Jesus is already in miracle mode, yet the holy trio ran away from Herod and must now get out of Egypt, pronto. Apparently, there is a limit to what Jesus and his father can do. On the other side of the coin, one must challenge the common sense of the person who made the stupid decision to flee through the secret places of robbers. Was that the best route, really?

Why did God choose Egypt to hide his son? A country he has so much contempt for and hatred toward; the same Egypt where he murdered the black firstborns; the same Egypt which he slandered by pretending they enslaved his people.

The most blatant racism which can be found in the bible is not how to beat slaves; not the slaughter of black babies; it is the unjust eternal blame deliberately placed on Egypt, by falsely accusing a black nation of enslaving Israelites, Jews, or Hebrews. This is the most racist part of the bible, and God lied again to cover his supremacist tendencies.

Were the Israelites, Hebrews, or Jews enslaved in Egypt? Hell, no. For the simple reason, there were no Israelite, Hebrew or Jew at the time. There were East Asians who were given shelter at no cost; and they betrayed Egypt, their benefactor. The bible stole many of its stories from African history; the problem remains that Christians are like car thieves who don’t know how to drive.

Going from one tale to another without any proof, or date, or empirical evidence is what makes the bible “the greatest story ever sold” after all; there will be plenty of idiots to believe every word.

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