There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The first Gospel of the INFANCY of JESUS CHRIST. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
1 A leprous woman healed by Christ’s washing water. 7 A princess healed by it and restored to her husband.
AGAIN there was a leprous woman who went to the Lady St. Mary, the mother of Jesus, and said, O my Lady, help me.
2 St. Mary replied, what help dost thou desire? Is it gold or silver, or that thy body be cured of its leprosy?
3 Who, says the woman, can grant me this?
4 St. Mary replied to her, Wait a little till I have washed my son Jesus, and put him to bed.
5 The woman waited, as she was commanded; and Mary when she had put Jesus in bed, giving her the water with which she had washed his body, said, Take some of the water, and pour it upon thy body;
6 Which when she had done, she instantly became clean, and praised God, and gave thanks to him.
7 Then she went away, after she had abode with her three days:
8 And going into the city, she saw a certain prince, who had married another prince’s daughter;
9 But when he came to see her, he perceived between her eyes the signs of leprosy like a star, and thereupon declared the marriage dissolved and void.
10 When the woman saw these persons in this condition, exceedingly sorrowful, and shedding abundance of tears, she inquired of them the reason of their crying.
11 They replied, Inquire not into our circumstances; for we are net able to declare our misfortunes to any person whatsoever.
12 But still she pressed and desired them to communicate their case to her, intimating, that perhaps she might be able to direct them to a remedy.
13 So when they shewed the young woman to her, and the signs of the leprosy, which appeared between her eyes,
14 She said, I also, whom ye see in this place, was afflicted with the same distemper, and going on some business to Bethlehem, I went into a certain cave, and saw a woman named Mary, who had a son called Jesus.
15 She seeing me to be leprous, was concerned for me, and gave me some water with which she had washed her son’s body; with that I sprinkled my body, and became clean.
16 Then said these women, Will you, Mistress, go along with us, and shew the Lady St. Mary to us?
17 To which she consenting, they arose and went to the Lady St. Mary, taking with them very noble presents.
18 And when they came in and offered their presents to her, they showed the leprous young woman what they brought with them to her.
19 Then said St. Mary, The mercy of the Lord Jesus Christ rest upon you;
20 And giving them a little of that water with which she had washed the body of Jesus Christ, she bade them wash the diseased person with it; which when they had done, she was presently cured;
21 So they, and all who were present, praised God; and being filled with joy, they went back to their own city, and gave praise to God on that account.
22 Then the prince hearing that his wife was cured, took her home and made a second marriage, giving thanks unto God for the recovery of his wife’s health.
Here we are presented with more of the same baloney.
Mary is on a roll; she is performing miracles like there is no tomorrow, with Jesus’ shitty bath water. Meanwhile, Joseph is nowhere to be found and could have been making money bottling Jesus’ colonic water.
There are 3 things to note: Mary is called Lady St Mary. For all the work Joseph has been doing, the family still lives in a cave, according to verse 14. Last, but not least, I wonder why there were still leprous people if Mary washed Jesus every day. Maybe she washed him when someone needed the bath water. (The time is just right for me to state that Mary used the shower to clean Jesus who would have walked on the bath water. Hahahaha)
Did Lady St Mary wash Jesus of his sins at the same time? Did the princess get laid after being cured of leprosy?