Biblical stupidity 2509

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The first Gospel of the INFANCY of JESUS CHRIST. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)

1 Jesus and other boys play together, and make day figures of animals. 4 Jesus causes them to walk, 6 also makes day birds, which he causes to fly, and eat and drink. 7 The children’s parents alarmed, and take Jesus for a sorcerer. 8 He goes to a dyer’s shop, and throws all the cloths into the furnace, and works a miracle therewith. 15 Whereupon the Jews praise God.

AND when the Lord Jesus was seven years of age, he was on a certain day with other boys his companions about the same age.
2 Who when they were at play, made clay into several shapes, namely, asses, oxen, birds, and other figures,
3 Each boasting of his work, and endeavouring to exceed the rest.
4 Then the Lord Jesus said to the boys, I will command these figures which I have made to walk.
5 And immediately they moved, and when he commanded them to return, they returned.
6 He had also made the figures of birds and sparrows, which, when he commanded to fly, did fly, and when he commanded to stand still, did stand still; and if he gave them meat and drink, they did eat and drink.
7 When at length the boys went away, and related these things to their parents, their fathers said to them, Take heed, children, for the future, of his company, for he is a sorcerer; shun and avoid him, and from henceforth never play with him.
8 On a certain day also, when the Lord Jesus was playing with the boys, and running about, he passed by a dyer’s shop, whose name was Salem.
9 And there were in his shop many pieces of cloth belonging to the people of that city, which they designed to dye of several colours.
10 Then the Lord Jesus going into the dyer’s shop, took all the cloths, and threw them into the furnace.
11 When Salem came home, and saw the cloths spoiled, he began to make a great noise, and to chide the Lord Jesus, saying,
12 What hast thou done to me, O thou Son of Mary? Thou hast injured both me and my neighbours; they all desired their cloths of a proper colour; but .thou hast come, and spoiled them all.
13 The Lord Jesus replied, I will change the colour of every cloth to what colour thou desirest;
14 And then he presently began to take the cloths out of the furnace, and they were all dyed of those same colours which the dyer desired.
15 And when the Jews saw this surprising miracle, they praised God

Can you handle more BS? The story gets stranger and more hilarious. Jesus is now 7 years old and ready to perform bigger “miracles” to impress his friends. He dabbles into animation by shaping plasticine clay into asses, oxen, and other figures, which he commands to walk, while he makes the clay birds eat and drink. One of the many reasons which prove that believers are idiots; nevertheless it’s a great idea for a skeet shooting business.

Ignoring their parental order, the boys are with Jesus again, playing by Salem’s dry cleaning emporium. Following the biblical nonsense of throwing things and people into a furnace, Jesus decides to destroy the business as a joke. He burns, then restores the cloths, to the delight of the Jews who will kill him a few years later.

At times, I have been called by certain unflattering names for advancing that only an imbecile would believe anything in the bible. Why is it acceptable for someone to be an idiot, but not acceptable for me to point it out?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s