There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The first Gospel of the INFANCY of JESUS CHRIST. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
(EXTRA) Hopefully, by the end of this gospel, the reader will be able to list more miracles besides the water into wine and Lazarus.
Chapter 9: Jesus Raises Zeno
(1) And again, after many days, Jesus was playing with other children on a certain roof of an upstairs room. But one of the children fell and died. And the other children saw this and went into their houses. And they left Jesus alone.
(2) And the parents of the child who had died came and accused Jesus, saying, “You pushed down our child!”
But Jesus said, “I didn’t push him down.”
(3) And they were raging and shouting. Jesus came down from the roof and stood beside the body and cried out in a loud voice, saying, “Zeno, Zeno” – because this was his name – “Rise and say whether I pushed you down.”
And he rose and said, “No, sir.”
And they saw and were amazed.
And again Jesus said to him, “Fall asleep!”
And the parents of the child praised God and worshipped the child Jesus.