There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The first Gospel of the INFANCY of JESUS CHRIST. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
(EXTRA) Hopefully, by the end of this gospel, the reader will be able to list more miracles besides the water into wine and Lazarus.
Chapter 17: Jesus Heals a Baby
(1) And after these things, in Joseph’s neighborhood a certain baby was sick and died. And his mother wept very much.
But Jesus heard that there was great grief and commotion, and he ran quickly. And he found the child dead, touched his chest, and said, “I say to you, baby, don’t die, but live, and be with your mother.”
And he (the baby) looked up immediately and laughed. And he (Jesus) said to the mother, “Take your child, give him milk, and remember me.”
(2) And the crowd standing there was amazed, and said, “The truth is, this child is a god or an angel, because his every word becomes a deed!”
And Jesus went away again and played with the children.
(Hopefully, Jesus didn’t play with the children the way his goons are doing.)