Biblical stupidity 2526

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The Second or St. Thomas’s Gospel of the Infancy of Jesus Christ. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)

  1. And on the day after he took Him by the hand, and led Him to a certain teacher, Zacchæus by name, and says to him: O master, take this child, and teach him his letters. And he says: Hand him over to me, brother, and I shall teach him the Scripture; and I shall persuade him to bless all, and not to curse. And Jesus hearing, laughed, and said to them: You say what you know; but I know more than you, for I am before the ages. And I know when your fathers’ fathers were born; and I know how many are the years of your life. And hearing this, they were struck with astonishment. And again Jesus said to them: You wonder because I said to you that I knew how many are the years of your life. Assuredly I know when the world was created. Behold, you do not believe me now. When you see my cross, then will ye believe that I speak the truth. And they were struck with astonishment when they heard these things.
  2. And Zacchæus, having written the alphabet in Hebrew, says to Him: Alpha. And the child says: Alpha. And again the teacher: Alpha; and the child likewise. Then again the teacher says the Alpha for the third time. Then Jesus, looking in the master’s face, says: How canst thou, not knowing the Alpha, teach another the Beta? And the child, beginning from the Alpha, said by Himself the twenty-two letters. Then also He says again: Hear, O teacher, the order of the first letter, and know how many entrances and lines it has, and strokes common, crossing and coming together. And when Zacchæus heard such an account of the one letter, he was so struck with astonishment, that he could make no answer. And he turned and said to Joseph: This child assuredly, brother, does not belong to the earth. Take him, then, away from me.
  3. And after these things, on one of the days Jesus was playing with other children on the roof of a house. And one boy was pushed by another, and hurled down upon the ground, and he died. And seeing this, the boys that were playing with him ran away; and Jesus only was left standing upon the roof from which the boy had been hurled down. And when the news was brought to the parents of the dead boy, they ran weeping; and finding their boy lying dead upon the ground, and Jesus standing above, they supposed that their boy had been thrown down by Him; and fixing their eyes upon Him, they reviled Him. And seeing this, Jesus directly came down from the roof, and stood at the head of the dead body, and says to him: Zeno, did I throw thee down? Stand up, and tell us. For this was the name of the boy. And at the word the boy stood up and adored Jesus, and said: My lord, thou didst not throw me down, but thou hast brought me to life when I was dead.

Here is a repeat of the know-it-all Jesus going to school. Please note that this account from Thomas doesn’t report his clash with the second teacher. Later, we have another miracle as Jesus raises a dead child to clear his name. By now, this chapter is getting better than the 3 little pigs.

With all due respect and I mean it in the nicest way possible, more than anything, these stories prove that one has to be a total blooming moron to believe anything in the bible.

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