There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The Second or St. Thomas’s Gospel of the Infancy of Jesus Christ. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
- And a few days after, one of the neighbors, when splitting wood, cut away the lower part of his foot with the axe, and was on the point of death from loss of blood. And a great number of people ran together, and Jesus came with them to the place. And He took hold of the young man’s wounded foot, and cured him directly, and says to him: Rise up, split thy wood. And he rose up and adored Him, giving thanks, and splitting the wood. Likewise also all that were there wondered, and gave thanks to Him.
- And when He was six years old, Mary His mother sent Him to bring water from the fountain. And as He went along, the pitcher was broken. And going to the fountain He unfolded His overcoat, and drew water from the fountain, and filled it, and took the water to His mother. And seeing this, she was struck with astonishment, and embraced Him, and kissed Him.
- And when Jesus had come to the eighth year of His age, Joseph was ordered by a certain rich man to make him a couch. For he was a carpenter. And he went out into the field to get wood; and Jesus went with him. And having cut two pieces of wood, and smoothed them with the axe, he put the one beside the other; and in measuring he found it too short. And when he saw this he was grieved, and sought to find another piece. And seeing this, Jesus says to him: Put these two pieces together, so as to make both ends even. And Joseph, in doubt as to what the child should mean, did as he was told. And He says to him again: Take a firm hold of the short piece. And Joseph, in astonishment, took hold of it. Then Jesus also, taking hold of the other end, drew it towards Himself, and make it equal to the other piece of wood. And He says to Joseph: Grieve no more, but do thy work without hindrance. And seeing this, he wondered greatly, and says to himself: Blessed am I, because God has given me such a boy. And when they came back to the city, Joseph gave an account of the matter to Mary. And when she heard and saw the strange miracles of her son, she rejoiced and glorified Him, with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and for evermore. Amen.
This gospel is typical of other biblical stories were the laws of nature are violated and disregarded at will. The most outlandish claims are offered to the truly uneducated, and therein lies the stupidity of the bible in particular and religion as a whole.