There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The GOSPEL of NICODEMUS, formerly called the ACTS of PONTIUS PILATE. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
1 Death and the devils in great horror at Christ’s coming. 13 He tramples on death, seizes the prince of hell, and takes Adam with him to heaven.
IMPIOUS Death and her cruel officers hearing these things, were seized with fear in their several kingdoms, when they saw the clearness of the light,
2 And Christ himself on a sudden appearing in their habitations; they cried out therefore, and said, We are bound by thee; thou seemest to intend our confusion before the Lord.
3 Who art thou, who hast no sign of corruption, but that bright appearance which is a full proof of thy greatness, of which yet thou seemest to take no notice?
4 Who art thou, so powerful and so weak, so great and so little, a mean and yet a soldier of the first rank, who can command in the form of a servant as a common soldier?
5 The King of Glory, dead and alive, though once slain upon the cross?
6 Who layest dead in the grave, and art come down alive to us, and in thy death all the creatures trembled, and all the stars were moved, and now hast thou thy liberty among the dead, and givest disturbance to our legions?
7 Who art thou, who dost release the captives that were held in chains by original sin, and bringest them into their former liberty
8 Who art thou, who dost spread so glorious and divine a light over those who were made blind by the darkness of sin?
9 In like manner all the legions of devils were seized with the like horror, and with the most submissive fear cried out, and said,
10 Whence comes it, O thou Jesus Christ, that thou art a man so powerful and glorious in majesty, so bright as to have no spot, and so pure as to have no crime? For that lower world of earth, which was ever till now subject to us, and from whence we received tribute, never sent us such a dead man before, never sent such presents as these to the princes of hell.
11 Who therefore art thou, who with such courage enterest among our abodes, and art not only not afraid to threaten us with the greatest punishments, but also endeavourest to rescue all others from the chains in which we hold them?
12 Perhaps thou art that Jesus, of whom Satan just now spoke to our prince, that by the death of the cross thou wert about to receive the power of death.
13 Then the King of Glory trampling upon death, seized the prince of hell, deprived him of all his power, and took our earthly father Adam with him to his glory.
More BS. Someone must have been watching and taking notes so idiots would be provided with enough dumb stories to believe.
The bible would be laughable if it wasn’t so criminally stupid.