There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The ACTS of PAUL and THECLA. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
Tertullian says that this piece was forged by a Presbyter of Asia, who being convicted, “confessed that he did it out of respect of Paul,” and Pope Gelasius, in his Decree against apocryphal books, inserted it among them.
More importantly, these religious teachings center around Paul; and, in this particular instance, present the martyrdom of the virgin Thecla, who died in a most unique way.
Pre-135 BCE until 315AD, long before there was a Jesus, the God of the day was Serapis Christus whose marble image can be seen in the London Museum. His followers were the only ones deserving of the word “Christians” and his image is the one they used for Jesus today. The outcome of the Council of Nicaea in 325AD, where Jesus was created, was the transformation from Serapis Christus, which means Christ the Savior, to Jesus Christ by edict of Emperor Constantine in 325 A.D. The religion morphed soon into the cult of Paul, making it Paulianity, and no longer Christianity.
1 Paul with Onesiphorus in a cave. 7 Thecla discovers Paul; 12 proffers to follow him: 13 he exhorts her not for fear of fornication.
IN the mean time Paul, together with Onesiphorus, his wife and children, was keeping a fast in a certain cave, which was in the road from Iconium to Daphne.
2 And when they had fasted for several days, the children said to Paul, Father, we are hungry, and have not wherewithal to buy bread; for Onesiphorus had left all his substance to follow Paul with his family.
3 Then Paul, taking off his coat, said to the boy, Go, child, and buy bread, and bring it hither.
4 But while the boy was buying the bread, he saw his neighbour Thecla and was surprised, and said to her. Thecla, where are you going?
5 She replied, I am in pursuit of Paul, having been delivered from the flames.
6 The boy then said, I will bring you to him, for he is under great concern on your account, and has been in prayer and fasting these six days.
7 When Thecla came to the cave, she found Paul upon his knees praying and saying, O holy Father, O Lord Jesus Christ, grant that the fire may not touch Thecla; but be her helper, for she is thy servant.
8 Thecla then standing behind him, cried out in the following words: O sovereign Lord, Creator of heaven and earth, the Father of thy beloved and holy Son, I praise thee that thou hast preserved me from the fire, to see Paul again.
9 Paul then arose, and when he saw her, said, O God, who searchest the heart, Father of my Lord Jesus Christ, I praise thee that thou hast answered my prayer.
10 And there prevailed among them in the cave an entire affection to each other; Paul, Onesiphorus, and all that were with them being filled with joy.
11 They had five loaves, some herbs and water, and they solaced each other in reflections upon the holy works of Christ.
12 Then said Thecla to Paul, If you be pleased with it, I will follow you whithersoever you go.
13 He replied to her, Persons are now much given to fornication, and you being handsome, I am afraid lest you should meet with greater temptation than the former, and should not withstand, but be overcome by it.
14 Thecla replied, Grant me only the seal of Christ, and no temptation shall affect me.
15 Paul answered, Thecla, wait with patience, and you shall receive the gift of Christ.