Biblical stupidity 2579

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The FIRST EPISTLE of CLEMENT to the CORINTHIANS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)

Clement was a disciple of Peter, and afterwards Bishop of Rome. The authenticity of this Epistle of St. Clement has been questioned, as he introduced the fabulous story of the phœnix’s revival from its own ashes (motif B32). One must entertain if St. Clement really believed that there was such a bird, and that it did revive out of the cinders of the body after burning. Then he most likely believed in a talking snake, talking ass, Jesus walking on water, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and monsters under his bed.

CHAP. I.
He commends them for their excellent order and piety in Christ, before their schism broke out.

THE Church of God which is at Rome, to the Church of God which is at Corinth, elect, sanctified by the will of God, through Jesus Christ our Lord: grace and peace from the Almighty God, by Jesus Christ be multiplied unto you.
2 Brethren, the sudden and unexpected dangers and calamities that have fallen upon us, have, we fear, made us the more slow in our consideration of those things which you inquired of us:
3 As also of that wicked and detestable sedition, so unbecoming the elect of God, which a few heady and self-willed men have fomented to such a degree of madness, that your venerable and renowned name, so worthy of all men to be beloved, is greatly blasphemed thereby.
4 For who that has ever been among you has not experimented the firmness of your faith, and its fruitfulness in all good works; and admired the temper and moderation of your religion in Christ; and published abroad the magnificence of your hospitality, and thought you happy in your perfect and certain knowledge of the Gospel?
5 For ye did all things without respect of persons and walked according to the laws of God; being subject to those who had the rule over you, and giving the honour that was fitting to the aged among you.
6 Ye commanded the young men to think those things that were modest and grave.
7 The women ye exhorted to do all things with an unblameable and seemly, and pure conscience; loving their own husbands, as was fitting: and that keeping themselves within the bounds of a due obedience, they should order their houses gravely, with all discretion.

  1. Ye were all of you humble minded, not boasting of any thing: desiring rather to be subject than to govern; to give than to receive; being content with the portion God hath dispensed to you;
    9 And hearkening diligently to his word, ye were enlarged in your bowels, having his suffering always before your eyes.
    10 Thus a firm, and blessed and profitable peace was given unto you; and an unsatiable desire of doing good; and a plentiful effusion of the Holy Ghost was upon all of you.
    11 And being full of good designs, ye did with great readiness of mind, and with a religious confidence stretch forth your hands to God Almighty; beseeching him to be merciful unto you, if in any thing ye had unwillingly sinned against him.
    12 Ye contended day and night for the whole brotherhood; that with compassion and a good conscience, the number of his elect might be saved.
    13 Ye were sincere, and without offence towards each other; not mindful of injuries; all sedition and schism was an abomination unto you.
    14 Ye bewailed every one his neighbour’s sins, esteeming their defects your own.
    15 Ye were kind one to another without grudging; being ready to every good work. And being adorned with a conversation altogether virtuous and religious, ye did all things in the fear of God; whose commandments were written upon the tables of your heart.

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