Biblical stupidity 2581

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The FIRST EPISTLE of CLEMENT to the CORINTHIANS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)

Clement was a disciple of Peter, and afterwards Bishop of Rome. The authenticity of this Epistle of St. Clement has been questioned, as he introduced the fabulous story of the phœnix’s revival from its own ashes (motif B32). One must entertain if St. Clement really believed that there was such a bird, and that it did revive out of the cinders of the body after burning. Then he most likely believed in a talking snake, talking ass, Jesus walking on water, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and monsters under his bed.

CHAP. III.
Envy and emulation the original of all strife and disorder. Examples of the mischiefs they have occasioned.

FOR thus it is written, And in process of time it came to pass that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the Lord. And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock, and of the fat thereof:
2 And the Lord had respect unto Abel, and to his offering. But unto Cain and unto his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very sorrowful, and his countenance fell.
3 And the Lord said unto Cain, Why art thou sorrowful? And why is thy countenance fallen? If thou shalt offer aright, but not divide aright, hast thou not sinned? Hold thy peace: unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
4 And Cain said unto Abel his brother, Let us go down into the field. And it came to pass, as they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.
5 Ye see, brethren, how envy and emulation wrought the death of a brother. For this our father Jacob fled from the face of his brother Esau.
6 It was this that caused Joseph to be persecuted even unto death, and to come into bondage. Envy forced Moses to flee from the face of Pharaoh king of Egypt, when he heard his own countrymen ask him, Who made thee a Judge, and a ruler over us? Wilt thou kill me as thou didst the Egyptian yesterday?
7 Through envy Aaron and Miriam were shut out of the camp, from the rest of the congregation seven days.
8 Emulation sent Dathan and Abiram quick into the grave because they raised up a sedition against Moses the servant of God.
9 For this David was not only hated of strangers, but was persecuted even by Saul the king of Israel.
10 But not to insist upon antient examples, let us come to those worthies that have been nearest to us; and take the brave examples of our own age.
11 Through zeal and envy, the most faithful and righteous pillars of the church have been persecuted even to the most grievous deaths.
12 Let us set before our eyes the holy Apostles; Peter by unjust envy underwent not one or two, but many sufferings; til at last being martyred, he went to the place of glory that was due unto him.
13 For the same cause did Paul in like manner receive the reward of his patience. Seven times he was in bonds; he was whipped, was stoned; he preached both in the East and in the West; leaving behind him the glorious report of his faith:
14 And so having taught the whole world righteousness, and for that end travelled even to the utmost bounds of the West; he at last suffered martyrdom by the command of the governors,
15 And departed out of the world, and went unto his holy place; being become a most eminent pattern of patience unto all ages.
16 To these Holy Apostles were joined a very great number of others, who having through envy undergone in like manner many pains and torments, have left a glorious example to us.
17 For this not only men but women have been persecuted: and having suffered very grievous and cruel punishments, have finished the course of their faith with firmness; and though weak in body, yet received a glorious reward.
18 This has alienated the minds even of women from their husbands; and changed what was once said by our father Adam; This is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh.
19 In a word, envy and strife, have overturned whole cities, and rooted out great nations from off the earth.

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