Biblical stupidity 2583

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The FIRST EPISTLE of CLEMENT to the CORINTHIANS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)

Clement was a disciple of Peter, and afterwards Bishop of Rome. The authenticity of this Epistle of St. Clement has been questioned, as he introduced the fabulous story of the phœnix’s revival from its own ashes (motif B32). One must entertain if St. Clement really believed that there was such a bird, and that it did revive out of the cinders of the body after burning. Then he most likely believed in a talking snake, talking ass, Jesus walking on water, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and monsters under his bed.

CHAP. V.
1 He sets before them the examples of holy men, whose piety is recorded in the Scriptures.

WHEREFORE let us obey his excellent and glorious will; and imploring his mercy and goodness, let us fall down upon our faces before him, and cast ourselves upon his mercy; laying aside all vanity, and contention, and envy which leads unto death.
2 Let us look up to those who have the most perfectly ministered to his excellent glory. Let us take Enoch for our example; who being found righteous in obedience, was translated, and his death was not known.
3 Noah being proved to be faithful, did by his ministry preach regeneration to the world; and the Lord saved by him all the living creatures, that went with one accord into the ark.
4 Abraham, who was called God’s friend, was in like manner found faithful; inasmuch as he obeyed the commands of God.
5 By obedience he went out of his own country, and from his own kindred, and from his father’s house: that so forsaking a small country, and a weak affinity, and a little house, he might inherit the promises of God.
6 For thus God said unto him; get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will show thee.
7 And I will make thee a great nation, and will bless thee, and make thy name great, and thou shalt be blessed. And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse them that curse thee; and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed.
8 And again when he separated himself from Lot, God said unto him; Lift up now thine eyes, and look from the place where thou art northward and southward and eastward and westward for all the land which thou seest, to thee will I give it, and to thy seed for ever.
9 And I will make thy seed as the dust of the earth, so that if a man can number the dust of the earth, then shall thy seed also be numbered.
10 And again he saith: and God brought forth Abraham, and said unto him; Look now toward heaven, and tell the stars, if thou be able to number them: so shall thy seed be.
11 And Abraham believed God, and it was counted to him for righteousness.
12 Through faith and hospitality, he had a son given him in his old age; and through obedience he offered him up in sacrifice to God, upon one of the mountains which God showed unto him.

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