Biblical stupidity 2585

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The FIRST EPISTLE of CLEMENT to the CORINTHIANS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)

Clement was a disciple of Peter, and afterwards Bishop of Rome. The authenticity of this Epistle of St. Clement has been questioned, as he introduced the fabulous story of the phœnix’s revival from its own ashes (motif B32). One must entertain if St. Clement really believed that there was such a bird, and that it did revive out of the cinders of the body after burning. Then he most likely believed in a talking snake, talking ass, Jesus walking on water, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and monsters under his bed.

CHAP. VII.
1 What rules are given for this purpose.

LET us, therefore, humble ourselves, brethren, laying aside all pride, and boasting, and foolishness, and anger: And let us do as it is written.
2 For thus saith the Holy Spirit; Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom, nor the strong man in his strength, nor the rich man in his riches; but let him that glorieth, glory in the Lord, to seek him, and to do judgment and justice.
3 Above all, remembering the words of the Lord Jesus, which he spake concerning equity and long suffering, saying,
4 Be ye merciful and ye shall obtain mercy; forgive, and ye shall be forgiven: as ye do, so shall it be done unto you: as ye give, so shall it be given unto you: as ye judge, so shall ye be judged; as ye are kind to others so shall God be kind to you: with what measure ye mete, with the same shall it be measured to you again.
5 By this command, and by these rules, let us establish ourselves, that so we may always walk obediently to his holy words; being humble minded:
6 For so says the Holy Scripture; upon whom shall I look, even upon him that is poor and of a contrite spirit, and that trembles at my word.
7 It is, therefore, just and righteous, men and brethren, that we should become obedient unto God, rather than follow such as through pride and sedition, have made themselves the ring-leaders of a detestable emulation.
8 For it is not an ordinary harm that we shall do ourselves but rather a very great danger that we shall run, if we shall rashly give up ourselves to the wills of men who promote strife and seditions, to turn us aside from that which is fitting.
9 But let us be kind to one another, according to the compassion and sweetness of him that made us.
10 For it is written, The merciful shall inherit the earth; and they that are without evil shall be left upon it: but the transgressors shall perish from off the face of it.
11 And again he saith, I have seen the wicked in great power and spreading himself like the cedar of Libanus. I passed by, and lo! he was not; I sought his place, but it could not be found.
12 Keep innocently, and do the thing that is right, for there shall be a remnant to the peaceable man.
13 Let us, therefore, hold fast to those who religiously follow peace; and not to such as only pretend to desire.
14 For he saith in a certain place, This people honoureth me with their lips, but their heart is far from me.
15 And again, They bless with their mouths, but curse in their hearts.
16 And again he saith, They loved him with their mouths, and with their tongues they lied to him. For their heart was not right with him, neither were they, faithful in his covenant.
17 Let all deceitful lips become dumb, and the tongue that speaketh proud things. Who have said, with our tongue will we prevail; our lips are our own, who is Lord over us.
18 For the oppression of the poor, for the sighing of the needy, now will I arise saith the Lord; I will set him in safety, I will deal confidently with him.

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