Biblical stupidity 2587

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The FIRST EPISTLE of CLEMENT to the CORINTHIANS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)

Clement was a disciple of Peter, and afterwards Bishop of Rome. The authenticity of this Epistle of St. Clement has been questioned, as he introduced the fabulous story of the phœnix’s revival from its own ashes (motif B32). One must entertain if St. Clement really believed that there was such a bird, and that it did revive out of the cinders of the body after burning. Then he most likely believed in a talking snake, talking ass, Jesus walking on water, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and monsters under his bed.

CHAP. IX.
He again persuades them to compose their divisions.

THUS has the humility and godly fear of these great and excellent men, recorded in the Scriptures, through obedience, made not only us, but also the generations before us better; even as many as have received his holy oracles with fear and truth.
2 Having therefore so many, and such great and glorious examples, let us return to that peace which was the mark that from the beginning was set before us;
3 Let us look up to the Father and Creator of the whole world; and let us hold fast to his glorious and exceeding gifts and benefits of peace.
4 Let us consider and behold with the eyes of our understanding his long-suffering will; and think how gentle and patient he is towards his whole creation.
5 The heavens moving by his appointment, are subject to him in peace.
6 Day and night accomplish the courses that he has allotted unto them, not disturbing one another.
7 The sun and moon, and all the several companies and constellations of the stars, run the courses that he has appointed to them in concord, without departing in the least from them.
8 The fruitful earth yields its food plentifully in due season both to man and beast, and to all animals that are upon it, according to his will; not disputing, nor altering any thing of what was ordered by him.
9 So also the unfathomable and unsearchable floods of the deep, are kept in by his command;
10 And the conflux of the vast sea, being brought together by his order into its several collections, passes not the bounds that he has set to it;
11 But as he appointed it, so it remains. For he said, Hitherto shalt thou come, and thy floods shall be broken within thee.
12 The ocean, unpassable to mankind, and the worlds that are beyond it, are governed by the same commands of their great master.
13 Spring and summer, autumn and winter, give place peaceably to each other.
14 The several quarters of the winds fulfil their work in their seasons, without offending one another.
15 The ever-flowing fountains, made both for pleasure and health, never fail to reach out their breasts to support the life of men.
16 Even the smallest creatures live together in peace and concord with each other.
17 All these has the Great Creator and Lord of all, commanded to observe peace and concord; being good to all.
18 But especially to us who flee to his mercy through our Lord Jesus Christ; to whom be glory and majesty for ever and ever. Amen.

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