There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The FIRST EPISTLE of CLEMENT to the CORINTHIANS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
Clement was a disciple of Peter, and afterwards Bishop of Rome. The authenticity of this Epistle of St. Clement has been questioned, as he introduced the fabulous story of the phœnix’s revival from its own ashes (motif B32). One must entertain if St. Clement really believed that there was such a bird, and that it did revive out of the cinders of the body after burning. Then he most likely believed in a talking snake, talking ass, Jesus walking on water, Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and monsters under his bed.
Of faith, and particularly what we are to believe as to the resurrection.
BUT all these things must be confirmed by the faith which is in Christ; for so he himself bespeaks us by the Holy Ghost.
2 Come ye children and hearken unto me, and I will teach you the fear of the Lord. What man is there that desireth life, and loveth to see good days?
3 Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips that they speak no guile.
4 Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and ensue it.
5 The eyes of the Lord are upon the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers.
6 But the face of the Lord is against them that do evil, to cut off the remembrance of them from the earth.
7 The righteous cried, and the Lord heard him, and delivered him out of all his troubles.
8 Many are the troubles of the wicked; but they that trust in the Lord, mercy shall encompass them about.
9 Our all-merciful and beneficent Father hath bowels of compassion towards them that fear him; and kindly and lovingly bestows his graces upon all such as come to him with a simple mind.
10 Wherefore let us not waver, neither let us have any doubt in our hearts, of his excellent and glorious gifts.
11 Let that be far from us which is written, Miserable are the double-minded, and those who are doubtful in their hearts.
12 Who say these things have we heard, and our fathers have told us these things. But behold we are grown old, and none of them has happened unto us.
13 O ye fools! consider the trees: take the vine for an example. First it sheds its leaves; then it buds; after that it spreads its leaves; then it flowers; then come the sour grapes; and after them follows the ripe fruit. Ye see how in a little time the fruit of the tree comes to maturity.
14 Of a truth, yet a little while and his will shall suddenly be accomplished.
15 The Holy Scripture itself bearing witness, That He shall quickly come and not tarry, and that the Lord shall suddenly come to his temple, even the holy ones whom ye look for.
16 Let us consider, beloved, how the Lord does continually shew us, that there shall be a future resurrection; of which he has made our Lord Jesus Christ the first fruits, raising him from the dead.
17 Let us contemplate, beloved, the resurrection that is continually made before our eyes.
18 Day and night manifest a resurrection to us. The night lies down, and the day arises: main the day departs, and the night comes on.
19 Let us behold the fruits of the earth. Every one sees how the seed is sown. The sower goes forth, and casts it upon the earth; and the seed which when it was sown fell upon the earth dry and naked, in time dissolves.
20 And from the dissolution, the great power of the providence of the Lord raises it again; and of one seed many arise, and bring forth fruit.