Biblical stupidity 2621

There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The GENERAL EPISTLE OF BARNABAS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)

[Barnabas was a companion and fellow-preacher of Paul of Tarsus, and that should say it all. This Epistle was written for the benefit of the Ebionites (the Christianized Jews,) who were tenacious of rites and ceremonies.]

Of the way of light; being a summary of what a Christian is to do, that he may be happy for ever.

AND thus, I trust, I have declared to you as much, and with as great simplicity as I could, those things which make for your salvation, so as not to have omitted anything that might be requisite thereunto.
2 For should I speak further of the things that now are, and of those that are to come, you would not yet understand them, seeing they lie in parables. This therefore shall suffice as to these things.
3 Let us now go on to the other kind of knowledge and doctrine There are two ways of doctrine and power; the one of light, the other of darkness.
4 But there is a great deal of difference between these two ways: for over one are appointed the angels of God, the leaders of the way of light; over the other, the angels of Satan. And the one is the Lord from everlasting to everlasting; the other is the prince of the time of unrighteousness.
5 Now the way of light is this, if any one desires to attain to the place that is appointed for him, and will hasten thither by his works. And the knowledge that has been given to us for walking in it, to this effect: Thou shalt love him that made thee: thou shalt glorify him that hath redeemed thee from death.
6 Thou shalt be simple in heart, and rich in the spirit. Thou shalt not cleave to those that walk in the way of death. Thou shalt hate to do anything that is not pleasing unto God. Thou shalt abhor all dissimulation. Thou shalt not neglect any of the commands of the Lord.
7 Thou shalt not exalt thyself, but shalt be humble. Thou shalt not take honour to thyself. Thou shalt not enter into any wicked counsel against thy neighbour. Thou shalt not be over-confident in thy heart.
8 Thou shalt not commit fornication, nor adultery. Neither shalt thou corrupt thyself with mankind. Thou shalt not make use of the word of God, to any impurity.
9 Thou shalt not accept any man’s person, when thou reprovest any one’s faults. Thou t shalt be gentle. Thou shalt be quiet. Thou shalt tremble at the words which thou hast heard. Thou shalt not keep any hatred in thy heart against thy brother. Thou shalt not entertain any doubt whether it shall be or not.
10 Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain. Thou shalt love thy neighbour above thy own soul.
11 Thou shalt not destroy thy conceptions before they are brought forth; nor kill them after they are born.
12 Thou shalt not withdraw thy hand from thy son, or from thy daughter; but shall teach them from their youth the fear of the Lord.
13 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s goods; neither shalt thou be an extortioner. Neither shall thy heart be joined to proud men; but thou shalt be numbered among the righteous and the lowly. Whatever events shall happen unto thee, thou shalt receive them as good.
14 Thou shalt not he double-minded, or double-tongued; for a double tongue is the snare of death. Thou shalt be subject unto the Lord and to inferior masters as to the representatives of God, in fear and reverence.
15 Thou shalt not be bitter in thy commands towards any of thy servants that trust in God; lest thou chance not to fear him who is over both; because he came not to call any with respect of persons, but whomsoever the spirit had prepared.
16 Thou shalt communicate to thy neighbour of all thou hast; thou shalt not call anything thine own: for if ye partake in such things as are incorruptible, how much more should you do it in those that are corruptible?
17 Thou shalt not be forward to speak; for the mouth is the snare of death. Strive for thy soul with all thy might. Reach not out thine hand to receive, and withhold it not when thou shouldest give.
18 Thou shalt love, as the apple of thine eye, every one that speaketh unto thee the Word of the Lord. Call to thy remembrance, day and night, the future judgment.
19 Thou shalt seek out every day the persons of the righteous: and both consider and go about to exhort others by the, word, and meditate how thou mayest save a soul.
20 Thou shalt also labour with thy hands to give to the poor, that thy sins may be forgiven thee. Thou shalt not deliberate whether thou shouldst give: nor, having given, murmur at it.
21 Give to every one that asks: so shalt thou know who is the good rewarder of thy gifts.
22 Keep what thou hast received; thou shalt neither add to it nor take from it.
23 Let the wicked be always thy aversion. Thou shalt judge righteous judgment. Thou shalt never cause divisions; but shalt make peace between those that are at variance, and bring them together.
24 Thou shalt confess thy sins; and not come to thy prayer with an evil conscience.
25 This is the way of light.

[All the “Thou shalt not” have been stolen from the African positive assertions.]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s