There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes The EPISTLE of POLYCARP to the PHILIPPIANS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
Valens, a presbyter, having fallen into the sin of covetousness, he exhorts them against it.
I AM greatly afflicted for Valens, who was once a presbyter among you; that he should so little understand the place that was given to him in the church. Wherefore I admonish you that ye abstain from covetousness; and that ye be chaste, and true of speech.
2 Keep yourselves from all evil. For he that in these things cannot govern himself how shall he be able to prescribe them to another?
3 If a man does not keep himself from covetousness, he shall be polluted with idolatry and be judged as if he were a Gentile.
4 But who of you are ignorant of the judgment of God? Do we not know that the saints shall judge the world, as Paul teaches?
5 But I have neither perceived nor heard any thing of this kind in you, among whom the blessed Paul laboured; and who are named in the beginning of his Epistle.
6 For he glories of you in all the churches who then only knew God; for we did not then know him. Wherefore, my brethren,
I am exceedingly sorry both for him, and for his wife; to whom God grant a true repentance.
7 And be ye also moderate upon this occasion; and look not upon such as enemies, but call them back as suffering, and erring members, that ye may save your whole body: for by so doing, ye shall edify your own selves.
8 For I trust that ye are well exercised in the Holy Scriptures, and that nothing is hid from you; but at present it is not granted unto me to practice that which is written, Be angry and sin not; and again, Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.
9 Blessed be he that believeth and remembereth these things; which also I trust you do.
10 Now the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ; and he himself who is our everlasting high-priest, the Son of God, even Jesus Christ, build you up in faith and in truth and in all meekness and lenity; in patience and long-suffering, in forbearance and chastity.
11 And grant unto you a lot and portion among his saints; and us with you, and to all that are under the heavens, who shall believe in our Lord Jesus Christ, and in his Father who raised him from the dead.
12 Pray for all the saints: pray also for kings, and all that are in authority; and for those who persecute you, and hate you, and for the enemies of the cross; that your fruit may be manifest in all; and that ye may be perfect in Christ.
13 Ye wrote to me, both ye, and also Ignatius, that if any one went from hence into Syria, he should bring your letters with him; which also I will take care of, as soon as I shall have a convenient opportunity; either by myself, or him whom I shall send upon your account.
14 The Epistles of Ignatius which he wrote unto us, together with what others of his have come to our hands, we have sent to you, according to your order; which are subjoined to this epistle.
15 By which we may be greatly profited; for they treat of faith and patience, and of all things that pertain to edification in the Lord Jesus.
161 What you know certainly of Ignatius, and those that are with him signify to us.
17 If These things have I written unto you by Crescens, whom by this present epistle I have recommended to you, and do now again commend.
18 For he has had his conversation without blame among us; and I suppose also with you.
19 Ye will also have regard unto his sister when she shall come unto you.
20 Be ye safe in the Lord Jesus Christ; and in favour with all yours. Amen.