There are 7427 blatant absurdities in the bible. Many biblical books were deemed so stupid that 1800 imbeciles decided to ban them from the approved bible, in 325AD. Next comes THE SHEPHERD OF HERMAS. (Sit tight, hang on, we are about to discover some major BS.)
[This book is thus entitled, because it was composed by Hermas, brother to Pius, bishop of Rome; and because the Angel, who bears the principal part in it, is represented in the form and habit of a shepherd.]
The First Book of HERMAS, which is called his VISIONS.
Again, of his neglect in correcting his talkative wife; and of his lewd sons.
AS I was on the way to Cuma, about the same time that I went the year before, I began to call to mind the vision I formerly had. And again the spirit carried me away, and brought me into the same place, in which I had been the year before.
2 And when I was come into the place, I fell down upon my knees, and began to pray unto the Lord, and to glorify his name, that he had esteemed me worthy, and had manifested unto me my former sins.
3 And when I arose from prayer, behold I saw over against me the old woman whom I had seen the last year, walking and reading in a certain book.
4 And she said unto me, Canst thou tell these things to the elect of God? I answered and said unto her, Lady, I cannot retain so many things in my memory, but give me the book, and I will write them down.
5 Take it, says she, and see that thou restore it again to me.
6 As soon as I had received it, I went aside into a certain place of the field, and transcribed every letter, for I found no syllables.
7 And as soon as I had finished what was written in the book, the book was suddenly caught out of my hand, but by whom I saw not.
8 After fifteen days, when I had fasted, and entreated the Lord with all earnestness, the knowledge of the writing was revealed unto me. Now the writing was this:
9 Thy seed, O Hermas! hath sinned against the Lord, and have betrayed their parents, through their great wickedness. And they have been called the betrayers of their parents, and have gone on in their treachery.
10 And now have they added lewdness to their other sins, and the pollutions of their naughtiness: thus have they filled up the measure of their iniquities. But do thou upbraid thy sons with all these words; and thy wife, which shall be thy sister; and let her learn to refrain her tongue, with which she calumniates.
11 And when she shall hear these things, she will refrain herself, and shall obtain mercy.
12 And they also shall be instructed, when thou shalt have reproached them with these words, which the Lord has commanded to be revealed unto thee.
13 Then shall their sins be forgiven, which they have heretofore committed, and the sins of all the saints who have sinned even unto this day; if they shall repent with all their hearts, and remove all doubts out of their hearts.
14 For the Lord hath sworn by his glory concerning his elect, having determined this very time, that if any one shall even now sin, he shall not be saved.
15 For the repentance of the righteous has its end; the days of repentance are fulfilled to all the saints; but to the heathen, there is repentance even unto the last day.
16 Thou shalt therefore say to those who are over the church; that they order their ways in righteousness, that they may fully receive the promise with much glory.
17 Stand fast therefore ye that work righteousness and continue to do it, that your departure may be with the holy angels.
18 Happy are ye, as many as shall endure the great trial that is at hand, and whosoever shall not deny his life.
19 For the Lord hath sworn by his Son, that whoso denieth his Son and him, being afraid of his life, he will also deny him in the world that is to come.
20 But those who shall never deny him, he will of his exceeding great mercy be favourable unto them.
21 But thou, O Hermas! remember not the evils which thy sons have done, neither neglect thy sister, but take care that they amend of their former sins.
22 For they will be instructed by this doctrine, if thou shalt not be mindful of what they have done wickedly.
23 For the remembrance of evils worketh death, but the forgetting of them life eternal.
24 But thou, O Hermits! hast undergone a great many worldly troubles for the offences of thy house, because thou hast neglected them, as things that did not belong unto thee; and thou art wholly taken up with thy great business.
25 Nevertheless, for this cause shalt thou be saved, that thou hast not departed from the living God, and thy simplicity and singular continency shall preserve thee, if thou shalt continue in them.
26 Yea, they shall save all such as do such things, and walk in innocence and simplicity.
27 They who are of this kind shall prevail against all impiety, and continue until life eternal.
28 Happy are all they that do righteousness, they shall not be consumed for ever.
29 But thou wilt say, Behold there is a great trial coming. If it seem good to thee, deny him again.
30 The Lord is nigh to them that turn to him, as it is written in the book of Heldam and Modal, who prophesied to the people of Israel in the wilderness.
31 Moreover, brethren, it was revealed to me, as I was I sleeping, by a very goodly young man, saying unto me, What thinkest thou of that old woman from whom thou receivedst the book; who is she? I answered, a Sybil.
32 Thou art mistaken, said he, she is not. I replied, Who is she then, sir? He answered me, It is the church of God.
33 And I said unto him, Why then does she appear old? She is therefore, said he, an old woman, because she was the first of all the creation, and the world was made for her.
34 After this I saw a vision at home in my own house, and the old woman whom I had seen before, came to me and asked me, whether I had yet delivered her book to the elders of the church? And I answered, that I had not yet.
35 She replied, Thou hast well done, for I have certain words more to tell thee But when I shall have finished all the words, they shall be clearly understood by the elect.
36 And thou shalt write two books, and send one to Clement and one to Grapte. For Clement shall send it to the foreign cities, because it is permitted to him so to do: but Grapte shall admonish the widows and orphans.
37 But thou shalt read in this city with the elders of the church.